In reality there will come a time, a day when it will hit you. I have a good while of living in El Salvador. I have been through most of the major hurtles here. I was just enjoying everyday life.
Until I purchased bacon at the local supermarket. It all hit me with the bacon. Funny, right? I have been here a while and never noticed bacon was for sale in the supermarket. I just assumed bacon was one of the things I'd have to live without. There are so many things you will need to let go of... you start to just assume. Don't.
I happened to see bacon when I was shopping and picked it up. It was $2.69 for a standard sized package. Very nice cuts, not too much fat. I purchased it and went home only to make a BLT. Minus the tomato.
This story might seem like it has little significance however it does, I promise. The day will come when you understand.
I sat at the table and the second I took a bite of that BLT, bacon ... which I haven't eaten in over a year... it all came back to me. I remembered sitting in the Waffle house back in my old town in the USA.... looking at the cars pass by. I remembered the easy life and how simple it was to get things done, to make money, to live. It all came back to me with that bacon. So again.... funny? No.
I don't regret my decision to live here. I don't need to leave. I won't leave. I am in denial that I miss the USA. Because I do miss the USA. It doesn't matter who you are, what problems you leave behind or why you are coming here. There will be a day when you miss the USA.
There is one way to deal with it. Accept it. Just take a moment to accept it. Accept that your life is no longer there. Accept that you won't be able to live the life you had, open you doors and embrace what you do have.
Your here in El Salvador for a reason. If your not, you will be soon as you read this.
Always remember to embrace what you have and not what you had. Moving forward is best done by accepting your situation, not forgetting your past. Denial only lasts so long. It does not make you weak to miss somewhere you spent so much of your life, rather that be the USA or another country.
5 comments:
Thanks for this! There have been so many days that I don't want to accept my fate of living in ES, but I have to no matter what. We are here fighting the fight and nothing can change that!
:-)
Those days come and go. I have been here year(s) and they still come and go for me!
The key is to focus on the good and realize how much worse life could be.
I appreciate this entry too! My biggest longing is for cheese. While my husband went for an interview at the embassy (a long road, also was deported), I sat at "Kreef" and ordered bread with manchego and gouda cheeses, a splurge that cost over $16.
But despite out expat difficulties, we usually have it much better than typical salvadorans, and we have an escape hatch they don't - American (or other) citizenship. Lucky us
:-) Yeah good cheese here is not free. I recommend buying it yourself at Hiper Europa. You can find many types you like, including Gouda. I won't comment on quality.
I agree about the life, we live a nice life here. My wifes family is in the government, so they are okay off too. We live much better than many around us, but ... being an expat is a real challenge here.
I like your blog by the way. I found it very interesting, some great coverage of events. Your latest post about the lady up the road was very ... salvadoreno :-)
Thanks for the tip. We have yet to go to a Hiper Europa to check them out. We 'discovered' Hyper Pais in Soyapango a few months after I moved here, and made monthly pilgrimages for all the stuff we could not find in Chalatenango and Aguilares. Better cuts of meat but not much for cheese. Later we found more 'special' food at Dispensa de Don Juan in Maramonte, but whole store is pricey. Then, at long last, Hyper Pais in Santa Tecla (multiplaza) had...real cheese - manchego, muenster, cheddar, gouda, yum yum.
Your story is very similar to ours, and I would like to chat with you more. Will send a separate email to your gmail...
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